The "Perfect Handshake" Formula

Ok, this is not a joke. Scientists of the University of Manchester were hired by Chevrolet as part of some PR training workshop and they came up with this formula as a guide to perform a "perfect handshake". But honestly, a handshake is just a handshake. LOL. If you have some free time, feel free to decipher the formula below. Have fun! =P


PH = (e² + ve²)(d²) + (cg + dr)² + π{(4< s >2)(4< p >2)}² + (vi + t + te)² + {(4< c >2)(4< du >2)}²

Where (e) is eye contact (1=none; 5=direct) 5; (ve) is verbal greeting (1=totally inappropriate; 5=totally appropriate) 5; (d) is Duchenne smile - smiling in eyes and mouth, plus symmetry on both sides of face, and slower offset (1=totally non-Duchenne smile (false smile); 5=totally Duchenne) 5; (cg) completeness of grip (1=very incomplete; 5=full) 5; (dr) is dryness of hand (1=damp; 5=dry) 4; (s) is strength (1= weak; 5=strong) 3; (p) is position of hand (1=back towards own body; 5=other person's bodily zone) 3; (vi) is vigour (1=too low/too high; 5=mid) 3; (t) is temperature of hands (1=too cold/too hot; 5=mid) 3; (te) is texture of hands (5=mid; 1=too rough/too smooth) 3; (c) is control (1=low; 5=high) 3; (du) is duration (1= brief; 5=long) 3.